In 4 and a half months I will be the father of two girls. I know that there is no possible way to prepare myself for this mind altering life change. I am very excited about it and I am sure I will figure it all out and love it but thinking about it now is so weird. I didn't have a sister. Just me ,Mom,Dad, and Brother. Even our dog was a boy. So the world of little girls is still an alien landscape to me. However, I am already feeling mind and body altering effects.
I consider myself a pretty non violent person. On the way to coffee this morning I saw a little junior high couple waiting at the bus stop and the boy had his hands all over the girls butt. First I thought "my girls will wait at that same bus stop" then I though " if a boy does that to my daughter , then she will be my pen pal from prison because I will cave his skull in with my bare hands!". Oh dear Lord I am in for the ride of my life, but I am so looking forward to it. Of course odds are that my daughters will be able to take care of themselves they definitely don't come from fragile stock! A couple weeks of weapons and self defense training with Uncle Bill, Uncle Steve, and Uncle Kelly and they will be just fine. Come to think of it, with Uncle Bill we can provide a police escort to any date, and with Uncle Kelly we have the means of tracking them down with night vision and some family black ops missions to track them down at any school dance. I am feeling at peace already!
Last night Jeannie warned me that when I am changing diapers I have to make sure to clean away from their tiny vaginas to prevent infection, I turned a little pale and said " I am not quite ready for "tiny vaginas" to be part of our conversations."
